After Death Communications: How to Encourage Signs From Loved Ones In Spirit

 “An After-Death Experience (ADC) is a spiritual experience, which occurs when you are contacted directly and spontaneously by a deceased family member or friend, without the use of psychics, mediums, rituals, or devices of any kind.” -from after-death.com

About a month ago, I went to see James Van Praagh demonstrate his mediumship at a large-audience show.  During the show, he took questions from audience members.  One question was from a woman who was doing cartwheels in the back to get his attention:

“Why hasn’t my grandmother contacted me?  She passed away over 15 years ago!”

James calmly went through some suggestions, but this women’s impatience cut him off at the pass. “I’ve already done all that. I’ve looked for signs, prayed, asked, pleaded.. I’ve even gone to mediums, and nothing.. she won’t speak to me!”

Exasperated, James simply told the energetic woman that she should take his meditation classes to learn how to calm her own energy first. The poor woman was left unsatisfied by his answer and I was left wondering.

The experience got me thinking about ADCs and the people I know who believe they’ve been convincingly contacted by loved ones on the other side.  I definitely was, my mother was as well, my step-father, my best friend..  So, if I know a lot of people who have had an after death communication, are they really common?  What happens if, like the woman at the show, we don’t get a communication? How can we improve our odds?

This is a huge subject and if you have been following me for a while, you know already that nothing I do is short and sweet.  This will necessarily be a long post, so here’s the topics I’m going to delve into just in case you want to skip ahead to a particular section:

  1. The 12 Types of After-Death Communications
  2. After-Death Communication Statistics
  3. The Skeptical Argument
  4. Why Don’t Some Spirits Communicate With Us?
  5. Reasons Why Some Spirit Communications Aren’t Received
  6. An Example of Spirit Communication Techniques from the Spirit’s Point of View
  7. Why Don’t Spirits Just Levitate a Pen and Write Us A Note?
  8. How to Open Yourself Up to Spirit Communication in Any Stage of Grief
  9. Induced After Death Communication (IADC) Therapy
  10. Should I Contact a Medium?
  11. Examples of Real Spirit Communications Received by Me, My Family and Friends
  12. Tell Us About Your After-Death Communications in the Comments!

The 12 Types of After Death Communications

The term ‘After Death Communication’ that we use to describe types of non-assisted communication from the deceased was coined by Bill and Judy Guggenheim in preparation for their book, Hello from Heaven: A New Field of Research – After Death Communication Confirms that Life and Love are Eternal.  Although they weren’t the first researchers in this field, their book brought ADCs into the public consciousness much the same way Raymond Moody’s book “Life after Life” did for Near-Death Experiences.  In it, they define twelve ways their survey participants were contacted by their dearly departed:

  1. Kinesthetic – Sensing a presence
  2. Auditory – Hearing a voice, either with your physical ears in or your head (mentally)
  3. Tactile – Feeling touched physically, like a hug, caress, kiss on the cheek
  4. Olfactory – Smelling a fragrance or odor connected to the deceased (perfume, cigar smell, etc)
  5. Visual – Seeing a full or partial appearance of the deceased; either an outline, transparent, just a part of the body, or full flesh-and-blood
  6. Visionary – A mental vision of the deceased with complete clarity while awake (either with eyes open or shut)
  7. Hypnogogic – Appearance of the deceased while falling asleep or just waking up (either physically, in the room, or mentally)
  8. Somnolent – An appearance of the deceased in a ultra-vivid and logical dream; ordered and atypical for most dreams.
  9. Out-of-Body – Meeting a deceased person while having an out-of-body experience.
  10. Technological – Receiving a phone call from the deceased, text-message, email or through a device, such as hearing their voice through radio static.
  11. Material – Physical phenomena that occurs such as lights turning on and off, items moving, music playing without being turned on.  Usually in a way that reminds you of the deceased.
  12. Symbolic – Seeing a symbol that reminds you of the deceased; a license plate, hearing a song, seeing their name or an animal (most commonly butterflies) that reminds you of them.

After Death Communication Statistics

After Death Communications are far more common than near-death experiences in the general population, even though the latter are arguably more well-known.  A study done by Jenny Streit-Horn, a doctoral student under Dr. Jan Holder, revealed that 30-35% of people can expect to have an after-death communication in their lifetimes.  Within the first year of bereavement, a person is 75% likely to experience an ADC, although a first ADCs can happen as long as several decades after the death occurred.

Grief and type of relationship also seem to influence the prevalence of ADCs.  People who lost spouses tended to have a greater number of ADCs than parental, sibling or friendship relationships.  People who are actively in the grieving process also reported more ADCs than people who described themselves as past the grieving process, though both groups reported high numbers of ADCs regardless.  Anecdotally, people in the first stages of grief or pathological grief tend not to have ADCs until their grief has lessened somewhat.  Aside from Crisis Apparitions (paranormal visions or visitations that notify loved ones of a person’s death), it would seem that intense emotions can ‘wall off’ a person from receiving paranormal visitations.

From the study, the following statements about After-Death Communications were found to be true:

  • Bereaved people more than non-bereaved have ADCs; about ¾ of people within one year of the death of a loved one.
  • Widows and widowers especially.
  • Women more than men
  • People of all ages, with older people perhaps slightly more likely, probably because the older a person is, the more likely the person has experienced others’ deaths.
  • People of all nationalities, with those from ADC-affirming cultures reporting more.
  • People of all ethnicities, with some perhaps slightly more than others – from highest to lowest among Americans: African-American, Mexican-American, Caucasian-American, and Japanese-American.
  • People of all education levels.
  • People of all incomes, with people with relatively lower incomes perhaps slightly more likely.
  • People of all religious affiliations and practices.
  • People no matter what their physical condition.
  • People no matter what their mental condition.
  • The great majority of ADC researchers have noted that ADCrs in their studies were mentally healthy. There is no evidence that ADC alone indicates psychological disorder or mental illness.

ADCs are under-reported.  In the study, 54% of the participants had never told another person prior to the survey.  Many participants admitted to fear of ridicule as the reason for their reluctance to share their experience.  It is probable that an even higher percentage of people likely have an ADC than is currently reported, possibly making this one of the most commonly experienced spiritual occurrence that is studied by paranormal and afterlife researchers.

The Skeptical Argument

When it comes to any type of paranormal activity involving personal experiences, skeptics can only usually point to one of four explanations.

  1. Deception – skeptics might suggest that a grieving person who has received a lot of attention right after a death might invent such stories to gain back that attention once everyone returns to their lives and the grieving become very lonely.  In this case, since the majority of people surveyed didn’t tell another person about their experience, deception might be difficult to use as an explanation for most ADCs, though in rare cases, it’s always possible.
  2. Hallucination – grief is an extreme psychological state.  Some scientists and psychologists believe that our brains will invent such hallucinations in response to grief, although there have been no scientific studies on this topic.  ADCs are also prevalent in people who aren’t actively grieving.
  3. Paradolia or Misidentification – Humans are great at pattern recognition.  Just like the ability to look at a cloud and see an elephant, humans can look at an event and draw personal conclusions from it that may not really fit or simply be coincidental.  In truth, ADCs are subjective. What constitutes a sign for you, may be considered a coincidence to another person.
  4. Drugs or Alcohol – Often times, a grieving person is offered a sedative in order to help them get through the first few days and the funeral.  In many cases, this is a likely to be a benzodiazepine such as Xanax or Valium. In other cases, a person may self-medicate with alcohol, opiates, marijuana and the like.  When drugs or alcohol are involved, a person’s perceptions are altered and they might be more likely to imagine or hallucinate an ADC.

Although the four reasons above might explain some ADCs, it’s hard to explain away all ADCs this way.  If 60 million Americans are likely to have an ADC in their lifetime, is it possible that all of them will be lying, spontaneously hallucinating or on drugs?  How can we then explain ADCs that occur well after the initial grief has dissipated?

Normal, well-adjusted healthy individuals are not prone to suddenly hallucinate, nor would most of these people have the incentive to lie, especially to an anonymous survey.  Although its possible that some people may misidentify or use drugs, the sheer number of ADCs reported makes the probability that all ADCs are false very low overall.

Note: The next section contains information I’ve gained from years of afterlife research.  These are conclusions that I have drawn – certainly, nothing about the spirit world is proven.  To do your own research, visit my Recommended Reading and Resources for Afterlife Research pages.

Why Don’t Some Spirits Communicate with Us?

Barring issues on our end (which I will get to in the next section), there are a variety of reasons why some spirits don’t or can’t communicate with us right away.

  1. Your loved one may need time to adjust. Some spirits don’t know they have died, or will need help understanding what has happened to them.  Others were so ill when they died, they need a period of convalescence in the spirit realm.  Spirits who pass away with severe psychological issues may be relegated to planes where communication isn’t possible yet.
  2. Spirits may realize that communication right now isn’t in your best interest.  Grief can be a valuable lesson in its own right.
  3. Some spirits will need to work with their teachers and guides who can assist them with communication.
  4. Time in the spirit world doesn’t exist, and outside of a human body we lose much of the anxiety we had on earth.  Our loved ones in spirit love us dearly, but know that you will be with them in what may seem like only a matter of days to them, even though it is a lifetime for us.

The scenarios above are rare. Most spirits do have a desire to communicate with the living and will try endlessly to let you know that they are okay.  Even as they attempt to communicate with you, there are things on our end that may prevent their message from getting across.

Reasons Why Some Spirit Communications Aren’t Received

  1. We might see or experience something meaningful, such as a dream or a symbol but we pass it off as a coincidence or ignore it.
  2. We are too deeply bereaved.  With terrible sadness and depression comes a wall of emotion that even the best and strongest of spirits cannot penetrate.  When our grief begins to lesson, the communication will begin to get through.
  3. The first communications happen to a relative or friend instead of you.  The first reaction is, “why did my loved one appear to X and not to me, the one who was closest to him/her?”  A loved one in spirit definitely wants you to know that he or she is still around, and so they appear to whomever is most receptive to get the message to you.
  4. We make demands or expect too much: we might say “If you are here, turn off that light” or “Make this song play in the car if you are listening”.  Spirits can do many things, but they don’t suddenly gain superpowers when they die.  They need to learn how to manipulate energy, and each spirit has a way they can communicate best – likely not the way you are demanding them to perform.  Allow the spirit to choose the communication and have faith that the message will be meaningful to you.
  5. We have unresolved anger or resentment toward the spirit.  Negative emotions are another type of wall, once that must be resolved before communications can be clearly felt.  Resolve your issues with the spirit in question. Whatever it was, remember that they were only human. If you speak out-loud, they will generally hear you so talking out your feelings can help.  Out of the body, spirits know immediately all the ways they have hurt others and always desire forgiveness.  Once you are in a space of love and forgiveness, you will get the message you are intended to receive.

Why Don’t Spirits Just Levitate a Pen and Write Us a Note?

I consider myself a logical person, and when initially trying to understand the phenomena of ADCs, I found myself really frustrated by how vague they can be at times.  Without a doubt, there are plenty of communications where a person sees their loved one standing in front of them looking quite alive.  In other cases, they get a phone call from the deceased. These are pretty straight-forward cases where there is little room to doubt that a communication occurred.  But most of us will have symbolic ADCs; we will hear a song on the radio that is meaningful, have a butterfly land on our arm, or smell a perfume.  While these are beautiful experiences, I wondered – why all the vague and dramatic symbolism?  Why can’t a spirit just leave us a note?  If levitating a pen is difficult, how about knocking on the wall and answering yes and no questions, or rearranging pennies to spell out their name, or smudging a mirror with “I’m Still Here!” while I’m in the shower?

Many years went by and I really studied spirit literature.  I learned that mastering energy in our dimension is extremely difficult and it requires the skill of an advanced spirit.  Unless our loved one is that advanced, it’s unlikely they have the skill or experience to do those kinds of definitive physical things that we expect.  Spirits of all stripes can manipulate energy.  Our physicists have already discovered that all of matter is energy, just denser than other kinds.  Thoughts and emotions are energy too, and because this type of energy is far less dense, spirits have an easier time manipulating it as a rule.

Consider how difficult it really is to make these symbolic ADCs happen:

In order for you to hear a meaningful song on the radio, they either have influence your thoughts to be in the right place at the right time and turn on the radio, or they have to influence the thoughts of the radio DJ to play that song at the exact time and place that you are listening.  It’s not as easy as it looks! Yet, it’s far easier than levitating a pen against Earth physics.

To have a butterfly land on your arm, a spirit has to influence the intention of that butterfly, and make sure you are in an area where a butterfly will be able to land on you.  That means cutting through all of the brain chatter in our heads to convince us to take a walk outside at the exact right time that a butterfly happens to be flying by, then convincing the butterfly to ignore its instincts and land on a human!

Smelling a perfume requires a spirit to use energy to match the signature of a perfume that you might recognize, or influence a person who is wearing that exact perfume to cross your path.  Again, not easy.

But, you might say, “What about hauntings?  Those spirits can slam doors and make lights go on and off. Are they just more experienced?”  Well, in a way, yes.  Those spirits are most likely tied to the earth for one reason or another.  Some people call these ‘Earthbound’ spirits.  They aren’t bound to the earth, really, they have just chosen not to cross dimensions.  When a spirit spends years, decades and centuries walking as a ghost on Earth, they do learn a trick or two – things that the recently deceased who do cross over have yet to learn.  Then again, earthbound spirits are usually extremely emotional and psychologically a little muddled.  These spirits have no problem scaring people to get attention.  Your loved one would never want to scare you with loud bangs and such, even if they could.

Case in point: I read an ADC once where a teenage girl woke up to see the full figure of her deceased father standing over her.  His body looked like it was made up of sparks of electricity.  Suffice it to say, she was startled by the wild unexpected vision and screamed.  Later, her father got a message through her to say, “I worked so hard on that energy body! I can’t believe it scared you!” Lesson learned.  Although the father wanted to do something spectacular to show his daughter he was still alive in the spirit world, it didn’t have the intended effect.  Most of the time, spirits know what we can handle and what we can’t.  They generally prefer not to scare us out of our wits!

It’s also important to understand how our psychology changes when we lose our bodies.  Spirits are emotionally rather than logically oriented so while they can reason just as well as we can, they prefer to have an energetic and emotional impact on you, rather than just appeasing your logical mind with ‘tricks’.

In the next section, I am going to use some examples from Dr. Newton’s work with Life Between Life regression to show from the spirit’s point of view how they attempt to reach us after their passing (and how difficult it can be sometimes!)

An Example of ADC Techniques from the Spirit’s Point of View
From Destiny of Souls, by Dr. Michael Newton

Dr. Michael Newton pioneered techniques for life-between-life regression, and in a hypnotic trance, his subjects can go to past lives and then to the activities they do as spirits in between lives.  Dr. Newton’s techniques are used by certified therapists all over the world trained in his techniques through The Newton Institute.  For over 40 years, his clients from all walks of life and from different parts of the US have described a very similar afterlife, convincing Dr. Newton and his colleges that not only is the afterlife real, but it is a logical and organized dimension not dissimilar from our own.  I highly recommend his books, Journey of Souls, Destiny of Souls, and Memories of the Afterlife.

In Destiny of Souls, Dr. Newton devotes a whole chapter to examples where spirits use children to communicate, pets, strangers, visions, objects and all sorts of other ways to get through to us.  Spirits use a variety of techniques that differ based on the spirit’s abilities and our ability to receive communication best. By learning how spirits communicate to us from their own perspective, it can help us be more receptive to receive and believe those communications. Here I’ve picked out two examples from that chapter to illustrate the process behind that communication.

Sylvia’s Dream

In this example, Dr. Newton has regressed his patient to recall a previous life where he/she as ‘Sylvia’ has just passed away. Sylvia, in spirit,  is trying to comfort her mother who is grieving.

S:=Sitter; Dr. N:=Dr. Newton

S: “I begin with more conventional thought communication while she is awake but I am getting nowhere.  She is so sad.  My mother’s grief at not being at my bedside is overpowering her.”

Dr. N: “What methods have you tried so far?”

S: “I project my thoughts with an orange-yellow light, like the flame of a candle, and place my light around her head, sending loving thoughts.  I’m not effective.  She doesn’t realize I am with her.  I am going for a dream.”

Dr. N: “All right, Sylvia, take me though this slowly.  Please start by telling me if you pick out one of your mother’s dreams or if you can create one of your own.”

S: “I don’t create dreams well yet.  It is much easier for me to take one of hers so I can enter the dream to effect a more natural contact and then participate. I want her to know it is clearly me in the dream.”

[…]

S: “The first couple dreams are unsuitable…Finally, she has a dream where she is walking alone in the fields around my house.  You should know she has no grief in this dream.  I am not dead yet.”

S: “…I enter the dream from the other end of the field by matching my energy patterns to my mother’s thoughts.  I project an image of myself as I was the last time she saw me.  I come slowly across the field to let her get used to my presence.  I wave and smile and then come to her.  We hug each other and now I send wave of rejuvenating energy into her sleeping body.”

Dr. N: “And what will this do for your mother?”

S: “This picture is raised to a higher level of consciousness for my mother.  I want to insure the dream will stay with her after she wakes up.”

[…]

S: “The influence of a vivid dream like this is very great.  When my mother wakes up, her mind has a vivid impression of this landscape with me and suspects I am with her.  In the time memory is so real she is sure of it.”

[…]

S: “…I [will] continue to send waves of energy into her over the next few days until she begins to accept my passing.  I want her to believe I am still part of her and always will be.”

Helen and her Husband’s Ring

In this regression, a man recalls the time after his death when he tries to comfort his grieving wife, Helen.

S:=Sitter; Dr. N:=Dr. Newton

Dr. N: “What do you do if your efforts right after death are not having the desired results anywhere on the body?”

S: “When I found that my wife, Helen, was not receiving me by a direct approach, I finally resorted to working with a household familiar.”

Dr. N: “You mean with an animal – a cat or dog?”

S: “I have used them before, but no.. not this time.  I decided to pick out some object of value to me that my wife would know was very personal.  I chose my ring.”

The ring he is referring to is a large ring with a raised turquoise stone in the center.  The man had a nervous habit of rubbing the stone and his wife often joked that he would one day wear it down completely.  Helen and her husband would often sit by the fire together and talk about their day, while her husband would continue to rub the stone on his ring out of habit.

S: “When I work with objects and people, I have to wait until the scene is very tranquil.  Three weeks after my death, Helen lit a fire and was looking into it with tears in her eyes.  I began by wrapping my energy within the fire itself, using the fire as a conduit of warmth and elasticity.

Dr. N: “Excuse my interruption, but what does ‘elasticity’ mean?”

S: “It took me centuries to learn this. Elastic energy is fluid.  To make my soul energy fluid requires intense concentration and practice because it must be thin and fleecy.  The fire serves as a catalyst in this maneuver.”

Dr. N: “Which is just the opposite from a strong, narrow beam of energy?”

S: “Exactly.  I can be very effective by rapidly shifting my energy from a fluid to a solid state and back again.  The shifting is subtle but it awakens the human mind.”

S: “Helen was connecting with the fire and thus with me.  For a moment the grief was less oppressive, and I moved straight into the top of her head.  She felt my presence… slightly. It was not enough.  Then I began shifting my energy as I told you, from hard to soft in fork fashion.

Dr. N: “What do you do when you ‘fork’ energy?”

S: “I split it.  While keeping a soft fluid energy on Helen’s head on maintain contact, I fork a hard beam at the box which holds my ring in a table drawer.  My intent is to open up a smooth pathway from her mind to the ring.  This is why I am using a hard steady beam, to direct her to the ring.”

S: “With my guidance, she slowly gets up without knowing why.  She moves, as if sleepwalking, to the table and hesitates.  Then she opens the drawer.  Since my ring is in the box I continue to shift back and forth from her mind to the lid of the box.  Helen opens it and takes out my ring, holding it in her left hand. […] Then I know I have her!”

Dr. N: “Because..?”

S: Because the ring still retains some of my energy.  Don’t you see?  She is feeling my energy on both ends of the fork.  This is a two-directional signal.  Very effective.

Dr. N: “Oh, I do see – then what do you do with Helen?”

S: “Now, I move into overdrive with a full-power bridge between myself standing on her right side and the ring on the left.  She turns in my direction and smiles.  Helen then kisses my ring and says, “Thanks, darling.  I know you are with me now.  I’ll try and be more brave.”

How to Enhance your Chances of Receiving an ADC at any Stage in the Grief Process:

The most important advice I can give someone who is waiting for a sign is this: talk to your loved one. Talk to them out-loud, as if they are in the room with you.  It may feel strange at first, but spirits tell us through mediums that they can hear you loud and clear when you speak to them.  Most importantly, this is the time when you can begin to resolve any outstanding guilt or anger that you may have over their death.  If you have already resolved your feelings, simply tell them how much you love them and miss them in your life.  Ask for a sign or communication, but give them the time and space to do it on their own terms.

Be alert to any of the 12 types of communications.  A communication may happen at any time.  Remember that not all ADCs are dramatic or obvious.  Believe it or not, most spirit communications don’t get received because we are just too stubborn, obtuse, distracted or logical to accept and be open to them.

Dreams are a major way that spirits will use to communicate.  In order to enhance your dream recall, tell yourself before bed that you will remember your dreams.  It sounds silly, but it works.  Avoid alcohol before bed, and don’t sleep with the TV or music on.  Clear your mind before bed and let any images form freely – this might be the time that you receive a hypnogogic vision or dream visitation.

Ask your friends and family if they have had any experiences that have reminded them of your loved one.  In the midst of heavy grief, it is quite common for a spirit to first contact a more distant relative or friend in order to get a message to you.  If that person is hesitant to upset you, that message may never be passed on.  Let others know that you welcome any experiences that they may have, may it be dreams, symbols or other signs.

Read about the experiences of others who have had an ADC at www.adcrf.org.  This may open your eyes to the many ways your loved one can communicate, as well as lifting your spirits through the inspirational and beautiful experiences of others.

Like the exasperated woman at the show, there might be a case where despite everything you do, communication just isn’t happening.  There are a lot of variables when it comes to inter-dimensional communication and sometimes we just have to trust that there is a good reason.  Maybe your loved one is involved in their own healing on the other side, or perhaps they are very inexperienced spirits who just can’t manage cross-dimensional communication.  Trust that you are loved and that your loved one is always connected to you, even if you don’t get proof of that.  On the other hand, be patient.  My mother didn’t get her first ADC from her mother for 16 years!  When it finally did happen, it was powerful, timely and life-changing for her.

To learn more about ADCs and spirit communication, I would encourage you to read Hello from Heaven by Bill and Judy Guggenheim, My Life After Life: A Posthumous Memoir by Galen and Dr. Kenneth Stoller,  and Destiny of Souls by Dr. Michael Newton.  Please also visit the After-Death Communication Research Foundation at www.adcrf.org and after-death.com.

Induced After Death Communication (IADC) Therapy

If your grief is overwhelming and interfering with your life, or you have experienced a traumatic loss, you might consider a new type of clinical therapy called Induced After Death Communication.  Dr. Allan L. Botkin, the founder of the procedure, discovered that patients with severe psychological grief were greatly relieved of their pain through the application of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, which uses eye movements to help our brain process grief and sadness far faster than traditional therapies.  With many patients, an extra step discovered by Dr. Botkin allowed the patient to experience an actual visionary after-death communication with the spirit whose loss they were grieving.  To find out more, please see my in-depth post on the subject: Grief Counseling with a Spiritual Twist: Induced After Death Communication (IADC) Therapy

Should I Contact a Medium?

If you haven’t gotten an after death communication and it has been six months since the date your loved one has passed, you may consider arranging for the services of a medium.  Why wait six months?  Well, most mediums will require a waiting period for best results.  Its easier to connect after both you and the spirit have had time to adjust and heavy grief can make it very difficult to make a connection.

Finding a reputable medium is difficult.  Avoid anyone you’ve seen on TV – sadly, most of them are simply entertainers.  To find a good, honest and truly gifted medium, I only recommend the services of two organizations – both are non-profit, and both thoroughly test and certify their mediums.

The Forever Family Foundation – www.foreverfamilyfoundation.org

The Windbridge Institute – www.windbridge.org


Examples of Real Spirit Communications Received by Me, My Family and Friends

ADC from a man who was ‘like a Grandfather’: A man who was like a grandfather to me appeared in a dream to say goodbye after he died.  He was “brought-in” to my dream through my great-grandfather who appeared first, smiled, then morphed into this gentleman.  No words were spoken, but there was a powerful feeling of gratitude and love as he looked into my eyes.  He had Parkinson’s before he died and so didn’t communicate well or easily in life, but in the dream I felt his deep appreciation that I played the piano for him and spoke to him kindly during his visits.

ADC from my Great-Grandfather: During the lowest, most difficult time in my life, I had a powerful and realistic dream of my great-grandfather.  He visited me in the dream to communicate that my life was headed in the wrong direction.  I agreed, but I was unsure what to do.  I asked him for his advice.  He just smiled and “said” (there were not words, exactly) that I already knew exactly what to do.  Look into my heart and follow my intuition.  When I awoke, I did indeed know exactly what to do.  I followed my own advice and changed the course of my life by making the difficult decision that I had previously been ignoring.

Other ADCs I’ve had:

ADC From my Grandmother: When my friend’s grandmother passed away I was attending her funeral thinking of my own grandmother.  Just then, the classical music being played in the funeral home was my grandmother’s signature piece that she played on the piano,  “Rhapsody in Blue.”  When I went outside a few minutes later, I was speaking to another friend’s mother when I realized she was wearing my grandmother’s perfume, “White Shoulders”.  I remarked about it, and my friend’s mother said that although she never typically wore that perfume, she decided to on that day on a whim.

ADC from my Grandfather (Pop-Pop): My grandfather, who I always called “Pop-Pop” passed away a little over two years ago.  About 6 months after he passed, I was thinking of him while driving home on the highway.  I mused that it would be nice if I could have a sign from him.  Just then, a car merged onto the highway right in front of me with the license plate that said “POP-POP”. PopPopStunned, I managed to get a picture of it! The picture is not the best – it was a rainy night, I was driving and shaky from excitement, but you can clearly see that the car right in front of me says, ‘POP-POP’. That was proof positive in my mind!

[Update June 2nd, 2016]

I just received four incredible new ADCs from my grandfather!  Because of his love of Disneyworld and the trips we’ve taken together in my childhood, I asked my grandfather to send me something in reference to his favorite ride at the park: “It’s a Small World After All” (you know, the one with the dancing dolls?).  I knew it was a tall order, but I was prepared to wait.  Well, it’s been three years but holy cow did he come through in a big way!  First, as the ice cream truck went by our house the song abruptly changed to ‘It’s a Small World After All”.  The next day, we received some random junk mail – a catalog that had the words ‘Its a small world after all” emblazoned on the front (I cut it out, it’s now on the fridge!).  Lastly, yesterday when I logged onto cnn.com to check the news, there was an entire article on the history of the ride!  When I clicked on the video, the familiar strains of the song came bursting through my speakers and I knew it wasn’t coincedence.. my grandfather isn’t subtle.  Finally, I received a call from my mother at work.  The church next door was playing ‘Its a small world after all’ on the church bells.  The church bells!? Four random references to the very song I asked about in one week  and not a common song by any means – Amazing!!

My Mother’s ADC from her Mother, my Grandmother: My mother sadly lost her mother to cancer two weeks after I was born (you can read my post about my pre-birth visitation to my grandmother here).  My mother’s life took a difficult turn in the years following her mother’s death and yet she didn’t get any communication from her.  It wasn’t until I was 16 years old – 16 years after my grandmother’s death when my mother got a very powerful communication, and it happened at the lowest point of my mother’s life, when she was directionless, miserable and desperate. She sat in the car, crying and begging her mother for some kind of sign.

Not long after that, she had a crystal clear and realistic dream of her mother in that same car, sitting in the back seat.  My mother no longer remembers the content of what was said, but the image and symbolism was important.  My mother was driving, in charge of her life, but her mother was in the backseat reassuring her and giving her directions.  It was meant to say that even though my mother is in charge of her own destiny, that her mother is still very much a part of her life, guiding her ‘from the back seat’.

My Step-Father’s ADC from his Father: My step-father lost his father to a sudden heart-attack over 20 years ago.  He was describing his father to someone once and said that his father was one of those un-emotional types of men who never told his kids ‘I love you’.  Although my step-father knew he was loved, he recalls that he never heard those words actually said to him.  Not long after that conversation, my step-father had a ultra-real dream when his father appeared to him and said, “Son, I LOVE YOU!”.  I guess he had heard that conversation and wanted to make it clear that even if those words hadn’t been spoken in life, they were true nonetheless.

My Grandmother’s ADC from her husband, my Grandfather: A week or two after my grandfather died, my Grandmother who I call ‘Nanny’ received a message from my Grandfather, her husband, that was undeniable. My grandparents loved Florida – they had a condo on the gulf coast, and used to take my family to Disney World, which are some of my favorite memories of my childhood.  On the mantle in the room where my Grandfather died, was a music box of a carousel from Disney World with all of the Disney Characters on it.  The music box hadn’t been touched in years, but after my Grandfather died, and on two separate occasions the music box started playing “It’s a small world” when my Grandmother walked into the room.

My Friend’s ADC from her Father: My best friend tragically lost her father when she was just turning 25.  It was devastating for all of us. Though he had been sick for a long time, he always seemed to pull through. My friend knew on the morning that he passed away, she had some sort of premonition.  As we were getting coffee, she put her hand on my arm and stopped me.  Looking at me intensely, she vowed that if her father died she would go to Ireland to visit her father’s relatives. Around 7 hours later, her father passed away in the hospital.  That weekend, we drove to a local park together as she was working through her intense grief.  As we were driving up, we could hear the strains of Irish bagpipe music.  When we pulled up, we were stunned to see a man in full Irish regalia playing the bag pipe, something that is traditionally done at Irish funerals.  There was no particular reason for this man to be in the park that day – there was no party or funeral.  He was standing completely alone, in the park, in his Irish kilt playing bagpipe music.  We both knew this was a sign from her father.  Years later, she did keep her promise and went to Ireland.

Second ADC: My friend felt her father’s hand on her shoulder as she was driving to the hospital after he had passed.

[Update August 26, 2016]

My Mother’s ADC from a family friend: This is a brand new ADC that occurred a few weeks ago.  Last autumn, a friend of the family named Romit sadly passed away from a quick form of aggressive cancer.  My mother and step-father visited him the night before he passed away.  My mother reminisced about the fabulous pool parties that they had been invited too.  Romit pulled out all of the stops for these parties, with the best food and entertainment, and of course, the huge in-ground pool that my mother, a swimmer, enjoyed tremendously.  When she saw Romit before his passing, she expressed her appreciation and gratitude for the pool parties.  A few weeks back, she thought of Romit again and talked out loud to him about the regret she felt that she would never attend another of his pool parties.  She had said that ‘he promised her another pool party’, likely a reference to what they spoke about the night before his passing.

The very next day, my step-father walked into the kitchen to tell my mother that they had been invited to a pool party.  My step-father knew nothing of the conversation my mother had had with Romit’s spirit the day before or her joking admonition that she was ‘promised’ a pool party and wouldn’t get it.  The pool party invite was with a distant friend or relative, and who invited them was inconsequential.  The whole point was the fact that Romit heard my mother, and the invite to a pool party came the next day.  It was Romit’s way of saying, “I can’t give you another pool party, but I will make sure you get an invitation to a different one!”

My Grandmother’s ADC from her husband: My stepfather’s mother is 91 years old.  Her husband passed away more than 20 years ago.  One night she had a very realistic ‘dream’ that she was walking through a hospital.  Her husband appeared and said, “I miss you.  I want you to be with me.”  She believes that this was a legitimate communication from her husband.

What do you think?

These are the after-death communications that were experienced by just a small circle of my friends and family, and you can see that there were quite a lot of them.  You can perhaps suggest that we were delusional, hallucinating or you can even accuse me of lying, but that’s where a little bit of faith and intuition comes into play.  When communications happen, you have a choice: throw it away as a coincidence, to choose to see it as a loving message of a loved one in spirit who wants you to know that they were more than just their body – the essence of who they are lives on. Their personality, sense of humor and most importantly their emotional connection with their loved ones survive.


So, have you experienced an after-death communication?  Do you know someone else who has?  Tell us about it in the comments!

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207 thoughts on “After Death Communications: How to Encourage Signs From Loved Ones In Spirit

  1. My father passed away January 27, 2017. He had heart failure, and copd. He was a fighter, even the morning he passed, I was sure he just had pneumonia and he needed antibiotics. My father passed away at 9:59am, and his brother (my uncle) passed away almost 3 hours earlier at 7:03 am. My dad did not know my uncle was sick and dying of cancer, I couldn’t tell him. Little did we know that god had plans already for them. A few days after my dad passed the batteries in the smoke alarm went dead, my dads car battery went dead, and his house phone battery went dead all together. I don’t know if that was a sign that he’s OK. I have heard there are no such things as coincidences.

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    1. Dear Lori,

      My condolences for the loss of your father and your uncle. Dealing with loss is so hard, but losing two family members at once must be simply unbearable. I also don’t believe in coincidences – certainly not coincidences such as what you’ve described. There is precedent for the draining of batteries…for paranormal investigators, its often a sign that a spirit is around. It sounds like your dad and your uncle wanted to let you know that they are visiting, watching over you, and that their pain is finally over. Every spirit has a particular way they communicate and just like in life, they have different talents. By draining batteries in multiple places, this might have been the way they could best let you know that they are okay. The chances of these things all happening at the same time are quite slim on their own. I would keep your eyes out for more signs – as your dad and your uncle get acclimated to their new life in the spirit world, they may find new and different ways to say “hello”.
      Keep in touch and take care,
      Jenn

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  2. Hi Jenn,
    Thank you for sharing this well-researched article/blog post. I too have experienced ADCs, and so has my family. I started a blog and I am considering writing a book about all of my experiences. My brother died tragically on his 27th birthday. He came through on night one – not directly to me or my parents, likely because we were too grief-stricken, but my boyfriend (now husband) had a dream in which my brother called and asked why everyone was crying. He said, “I’m ok, I’m on my way home.” After that, I had many, many signs – too many to list here, but one of the most amazing ones was when he came through on my computer with a message typed into a word document – all lowercase, no spaces. It appeared there just moments after I stepped away from the computer to get a drink and when I came back, it was there. I have no idea how he did that, and he hasn’t done it since, but it was amazing. I look forward to following your blog. I would love to do some professional research/writing on this.

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    1. I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother. It makes perfect sense that your brother did not come through on the first night for the very reason you mentioned. How can extraordinary that he was able to write you a message! I hope you do write a book, there aren’t as many on ADCs and I know it gives hope to so many people who are struggling with grief. Thanks for writing, and please do keep me posted if you decide to publish. Thanks also for sharing your story on a blog.. What is your site name, if you want to share?
      Take care,
      Jenn

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  3. My brothers fiance died just a few days ago.. i am almost certain she is leabing me signs. I.stayed at a friends house the other night, and the morning after she hoovered everywhere. I went out back for a cigarette and when i walked back in the house there was a gold nose ring on the floor. My friend doesnt have hers pierced and i only ever buy silver. My brothers fiance had to wear gold or it would turn her skin a funny colour. Also a friend took a picture of the sky and put it on the internet. I saw it and immediately saw a face on it, then i noticed a dog and the two are looking at one another. I showed my family and everyone apart from my brother believes it to be his fiance. Just before she met my brother she had to have her dog put to sleep.
    X

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    1. Yes I believe you our love one use what every that you remember them by things in life that you know them for you can find them in all thing trees flowers birds bugs just things you knew them 4

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      1. Thank you. Its so hatd dealing with this as we werent ready for it. She wasnt even ill. She just went to bed and never woke up. Its so hard to let go x

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        1. Yes I know just know she’s ok there is no death just new life youth of my girls have went on one in 95 she was 9 years old and the out her one all most 3 years now but they have never left me their with me all ways you just have to learn to look and listing 4 her she will show you what you can understand I am a empath science I have been 2 I’m 53 now be I have all way had 🎁 I believe is Jesus and in my gifts he has placed on me it’s great but as far as evening Luther’s. Pain or sadness of negative Entergy it’s not all ways so I wake up every day in the light of Christ and pray and go through my day as a empath get older you need more and more peace. You need to read the book the seat of the soul that was one of my first 📚 and it will help you understand what happings when we pass no death go luck and stay in touch 💘

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    2. Dear Tara,

      It definitely does sound like you and your family are getting signs! Leaving objects around, like the gold nose ring – something that you would associate with her is a common sign. I love the picture of her and dog in the sky. Many people who study ITC (instrumental transcommunication) believe that spirits can form both sound and images through the white noise or static in the images and/or audio. If you believe it to be a sign, it is. Its possible that she may send other signs so that you and your brother will know for sure that it is her. All the best to you.

      Jenn

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  4. My soulmate and only man I’ve ever truly loved passed away on the 1st April. I’m lost and broken without him and so badly need a sign from him. We had nicknames for each other and I called him Bunch (short for Honeybunch) and he called me packet. How can I try to contact him? I desperately want a message or sign from him. Please help, thank you, Anna xxx

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    1. Hi Anna,
      I’m so sorry for the loss of your soulmate – the pain must be simply unbearable. I’m sure you are in the midst of overwhelming grief. It can be harder for spirits to get in touch with us when the grief is so heavy, so it may just take a little time. As I advise everyone, talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Although the conversation can feel one-sided, communicating with him can really help him get an answer back to you. Even though he is ‘on the other side’, you are still emotionally connected and will always be. If six months goes by and you don’t get a sign, you can consider other methods – such as IADC or contacting a medium, but do give it some time. Know that he loves you and will always be a part of your life. I am wishing the best for you – please let me know if you get a sign.
      Jenn

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      1. Thanks for replying to my message, I’ve still yet to receive any signs from Steve ( my Bunchy) but remain hopeful. I cry every night, that’s when the emptiness really hits me, I’ve always been scared of the dark since I was very young. I believe I’m a ‘hypersensitive’ if you’ve heard that expression. I’ve been told by many people from various religions that I’m a pure soul and have been blessed in many ways, several high monks in Thailand and Jerusalem have said to be careful as the dark forces will try to get to me. Steve always said he’d protect me from evil and I used to call him often in the night when I sensed demonic presences near me. You may not believe me but I’m really not crazy or delusional, I’m a clinical specialist in neuro physio and quite sane. I thought by now Steve would’ve contacted me, I’m getting very lonely and unhappy waiting. What else can I do? Thanks for understanding my grief. You seem such a caring lady, if I don’t hear back from you again thanks for helping me cope a little better, love Anna xxxxxxx

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        1. Hi Anna,
          Thank you for your kind words. I believe you; I myself have been the unfortunate victim of a negative spirit. I know they do exist and at the lowest point in our lives, that’s when they seem to come around more often. If you are talking to Steve out loud and being honest about how you feel with him, there’s not much you can do but wait to get the sign. There are other options though. There is a therapy that I just recently posted about that you might be interested in called IADC – Induced After-Death Communications. I think I mentioned it briefly in my first reply. Supposedly, for people with really profound sadness, IADC provides promising results as well as the chance to possibly have an ADC with Steve. Click back to my homepage and you’ll see that its the most recent post. Maybe you’d be a good candidate for this? Otherwise, after three months, you might find a medium through the Forever Family Foundation and see if you can connect with Steve that way. Please write back when you can and let me know how you are getting along.
          Take care,
          Jenn

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  5. I lost my beautiful Mom 2 years ago on Mother’s day. She was very ill for years and my father took amazing care of her the past 10 years of her life as my sister and i lived farther away. My Dad was a strong, healthy, amazing man whom after grieving the loss of mom would have many great years left. To my shock and disbelief, last sept my Dad was diagnosed with skin cancer which had spread to his brain…5 tumors before he even knew. We lost Dad Oct 7, 2016. I cannot even describe the grief my sister and i are in, i am a true believer in life after death but going through this made me so angry, why my amazing Dad, he did not deserve to die, how can there be a God? I struggled with this but would always come back to believing that they are truly home, they are in a place that we all want to be and long to be someday too. I continue to struggle with this a bit but after reading your blog and some amazing books, going to church, praying…i am getting my faith back. Thank you so much for your beautiful blog.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind comments, I’m so very sorry for your losses. Anger is very natural to feel, for sure. I wish it were easier to understand why we have to suffer such pain in response to love – I’m not sure I’ll ever understand it, but I do believe that your Mom and your Dad are together, and still a part of yours and your sister’s life. A lot of people lose their faith in the midst of such grief and loss – I’m really glad to hear that you are working hard to keep yours. Keep reading – it has helped me immensely, there are so many wonderful books that have convinced me that life is fleeting, but love is eternal. When we get to the spirit world ourselves, we’ll have all the time in the world to reconnect with our loved ones and reminisce over the crazy life we just had. Thank you again for taking the time to write – I know the road is long and tough with many setbacks. I hope you get an amazing sign from your parents and can help lift your spirits!
      Jenn

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  6. My wife and I met 3 years ago online on a music group. The moment I seen her picture I was immediately taken back into my past and I relived all my dreams as a boy of the woman I wanted in life. My wife fell in love with my words the first time she read them. Within days I asked her if she would marry me one day. She said she did many lives ago.She packed up her house in California and moved to New York within 4 months. 6 months later she had breast cancer and had a double masectomy. They said she,was cancer free. 18 months later she died of cancer. I married her the night before she passed. People say it was the most beautiful love story. And it was real . It has inspired many people to not quit looking for their perfect love. A little bit after she passed Patti came briefly into my dreams. She walked across the room I was in and kissed me. Then she was gone as I woke up. About a week later she showed up again in my dreams and walked across the room and hugged me. This time I woke up sweating and my heart was racing . I have had numerous premonitions come true in the last 6 months. It’s unbelievable. If you keep your heart and mind open the signs are everywhere. She was fascinated with Cardinals and I had remarked to her that they hadn’t come back to the feeders. The day she died her best friend looked out the window and there she was at the feeder. She comes every night. Last one to the feeder before dark. Like clockwork every night I can go out before dark and she shows up. I sit and tell her about my day and then tell her I love her and to go home. By time I get to the kitchen she is gone and my day is complete.

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    1. Dear Jay, thank you for sharing your beautiful and yet so heartbreaking experience. I can sense how much you and your wife love each other through your words and my heart aches for your loss. Your connection is obviously deep and very spiritual – I’m inspired by the many communications you have gotten, and sure signs that she is and will always be part of this life and the next. I absolutely love your daily conversation with your cardinal; its a beautiful conduit to your wife. You both continue to share a deep bond and it reminds me that love truly is eternal. Thanks again, Jay, for sharing your story. All the best to you,
      Jenn

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  7. Hi Jenn,

    My lovely wife passed suddenly in her sleep on May 21. I have seen many signs. Strong smell of her the day after, my computer going haywire for 2 days after, a hat she wore at a costume party changing locations. Our 14 year old is having breast reduction surgery soon, and one of her bras was laying out by our apple tree. She is very modest and would never remove her bra outside.

    The day of her viewing, I showed a memorial video that I made to a relative. I put them on my phone. I clicked on one, but a different one played instead. Later, when I arrived at my sister’s house the song that I used in that video, which was one of our songs, started playing on her cable music channel. It’s a song from 1993. The odds of this happening by chance on the day of her viewing are slim.

    Here is my question. Is it possible to visit my wife in a lucid dream or out-of-body experience? I don’t dream much. Might remember 1 or 2 in any given year. There are supplements that you can take that help with lucid dreaming. Is this possible?

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    1. Dear Dan,
      My sincere condolences for the recent loss of your wife. I’m so glad that you have received so many signs already, like you’ve mentioned – the odds against some of these things happening by chance are slim. To get right to your question – yes. If you are determined, you can visit your wife consciously in a lucid dream or OBE. I say ‘consciously’ because many spiritual sources tell us that we visit all of the time in our sleep, but we don’t remember (by design, I think). I have some books to recommend. First is ‘Vistas of Infinity’ by Jurgen Ziewe. Jurgen is an out-of-body expert and although his book is not instructional, it is a journal of his out-of-body experiences, including the experiences where he has purposely aimed to find family members in the spirit world. He meets his mother several times, as well as his brother-in-law, his aunt and his father. I believe this will give you a ‘lay of the land’. Secondly, I would recommend the books by William Buhlman (Adventures Beyond the Body, especially) as well as Journeys Out of The Body by Robert Monroe. There are some great youtube channels as well – one which is particularly instructive called Lucidology 101. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL872CCEF527B70ED7. Lucidology feels a little bit gimmicky (they are trying to sell something), but I found their free videos to be quite interesting. Robert Monroe sadly passed away, but William Buhlman has a lot of his presentations, talks and interviews on youtube as well.

      I have for a long time considered writing a post about lucid dreams/OBE as a method specifically to meet up with loved ones in the afterlife. I know it can be done and many people have done it. It will take time and a lot of determination, however. I think once you start practicing some of the techniques, I think you’ll find that your wife will try to meet you half-way.

      Good luck to you, and please come back and let me know if you have success. In the meantime, I will try to do some research about others who have had success meeting up with loved ones using OBE techniques. I am feeling more inspired to write that post.

      Jenn

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    2. Dan – I forgot to address your other question. I’m not sure which supplements, if any, can enhance lucid dreaming. The only thing I’ve come across that does enhance dreaming and dream recall is mugwort. You don’t eat it, though, you put it under your pillow. I’ve tried it, and it does seem to work. Depending on where you live, you probably have Mugwort within 50 feet of you. It grows like a weed across the US and most of Europe. In fact, I can’t seem to get it out of my garden because its so prolific.
      Jenn

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  8. Hi Jenn,

    Thanks so much for the reply!

    I’m referring to a supplement called Lucidimine. Many have had success with lucid dreaming with this. Probably need to study lucid dreaming before going down this path.

    Astral Projection would be an answer, but that seems more difficult to master.

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  9. If you want to my medium and she’s only saw a blue screen what does that mean my son died suddenly and I would like to understand what this means

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    1. Sorry – should say if you went to a medium and say could not read him and only saw a blue screen what does that mean. Please help me understand- thank you

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      1. Mary, it sounds like the medium had an off day. You should have gotten a refund. Although every medium has off days now and then, usually they will reschedule or refund. I’d suggest going through the forever family foundation to find a more qualified medium. Sometimes it can take time to find the right medium for you, but forever family foundation is a great place to start as they verify their mediums.
        Jenn

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